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Friday, 5 December 2014

A Strange Me!

Before, life was simple, it was seen as it was, it was shown as it was.
I left that world far away behind me, and it has been a lot of time since then.
It's all too complicated for me now. It's all fake. Me, the people around, the things happening, everything!
All the people I now know are too fast for me to cope up with their speed.

So, technically, I've outlived my past, and the the present is too fast for me to catch up to meet these fake futuristic demands.

All in all, I'm lost-
It happens sometimes that I can't accept the reality and so I tend to live in delusions... in a photo framed world where I force myself to live in those skeptical boundaries which I can't escape.
And this is happening to me.

It's not just words. I can't let anybody into me.
I talk only because I can't ignore.

Whenever I talk to people from my past, it freaks me out. It makes me realize what I have become, a stranger to my own self.
I have unknowingly changed myself, completely, and now I want to get back where I was before.

Am I still the girl who loved herself more than anything in the world?

Am I still my own fashionista?
Do I still have my conscience alive and strong?
Can I still fight my fights alone?


I doubt if the answers for the above are affirmative, and that's really bad.

I hate my surroundings, feel like getting a new place for myself, going somewhere nobody knows me, and starting all over again with my life, only this time being very very careful.

What I now do is, make friends with machines, speak with the web. I feel nothing, I have not a bit of heart in what I do. I splatter my thoughts over write ups like this and feel relieved. I'm messed up and so are my posts. My thoughts are vague, beyond understanding sometimes. You may not know what I think, but I know what I think, the way I think and I know it's complicated, too heavy.

All I want is that simplicity in my life, I wanna be simple in thoughts, simple in style and again, simple in writing so that- why I write and what I write is lucid and facile.

Hope my next post is much more sententious and meaningful!

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